Ask the Guides #5: What to Do When We Feel Ourselves Going Backward?



This question is from me, but before I share it and the response from the Guides, I have to tell you about my morning. Because I think maybe you are going to be able to relate.


A few days ago, I got back from an ecstatic five-day retreat at Esalen with Paul Selig, a psychic and channel who is doing revolutionary work raising the vibration of the collective through his livestreams, books, and retreats.


I came back from the retreat feeling high. As in, in-my-Higher-Self high. As I drove home along the coast and then through the oaky hills and garlic fields, everything looked radiant and preternaturally beautiful. I felt so connected to all the amazing people I had shared that experience with. Everything was perfect. All was One. When I greeted my dog at the door—she was the only one home—she leaned into me as if she knew something had shifted.


And then, over the next few days, I started to crash. I was inexplicably exhausted. As happy as I was to see my family, I was also overwhelmed by the noise and demands of domestic life. I just wanted to be immobile on the couch, or else flee back to Esalen, not just to soak au naturel in a hot tub overlooking the Pacific—which was pretty effing awesome— but to recapture that elevated state that felt so delicious and so right.


Then came this morning. There was nothing special about it, except maybe I drank too much coffee and ate too little breakfast before dropping my son off at school and heading to Safeway to pick up Gatorade and granola bars for the middle school track meet like I promised. It was somewhere in the household cleaning aisle, while pondering the mop heads, that I felt an old sense of despair start to drag me down.


What was it, exactly? Existential loneliness? Emotional fatigue? I didn’t know, only that everything felt wrong and everything in front of me, from work to home to life in general, seemed impossibly difficult, like swimming against the current and uphill. This feeling didn’t make sense, but I knew it intimately, and it was discouraging to be back “there” again. Hadn’t I just transcended my lower self for nearly five whole days? Didn’t I know who I really was? How could I have lost hold of that feeling so quickly?


Long story short, I managed to shift the energy as the day went on. I texted with a friend, baked some muffins while listening to one of Paul’s audio books, and got some work done. I also turned to the Guides, who had typically compassionate and useful advice, which I share with you below. I hope you find it helpful, as I did.


Much LOVE to you all,






Q: What do we do in those situations where we feel like we’ve suddenly gone backwards—gotten caught in old feelings, old patterns, a low vibration, the ego self, and/or fear?


The Guides respond:


Love yourself. Now this is a cliché, and not well understood, so let us explain. We do not mean “like” yourself. You may indeed “like” yourself, your personality, or you may not. It doesn’t matter, actually, though this may surprise you. You may have aspects of yourself, your small self, that you would like to change, and you may or may not find yourself able to change them in the moment. That is all right. It honestly doesn’t matter as much as you think.


What does matter is Love, and the ability you have, the action you take, to Love yourself. Now again, this doesn’t not mean “like.” You may or you may not. We are not talking about the spontaneous feeling that arises by itself in like or dislike.


We are talking about Love. And that is an action, a choice, a decision you make in the moment to send yourself Love and in doing so connect with your Higher Self in a way that changes your vibration and shifts your experience of Who You Are.


Let us explain. On the plane of duality, you are both. The lower self and the Higher. The one who suffers and the One who does not. On the plane of unity, what some call the 5th dimension, the lower self is subsumed into the Higher, and there is no conflict, no pain or suffering as you experience it here—no separation. Only Love.


So that is how you treat yourself when you find yourself sinking into the mindset of the lower self. With enormous Love. With enormous compassion. Not judging or analyzing what is happening, but sending it Love as an energetic action through the Self as funded by the Divine. Does that make sense?


Send yourself Love as a mother would, the Divine mother, or the earthly mother who sees her child beyond the child’s moods or behaviors or acting out. The mother who Knows the child’s heart, the tenderness there, the need and the fear, and also senses the grandeur of the child’s Being and worth of the child’s soul. That is You as Love in action, the Mother of yourself, the conduit of Divine love for yourself, as your Self. Do you understand?


This can happen anywhere at any time, in the grocery aisle or in traffic or at the dinner table with your raucous family. Just stop and visualize that Love streaming down on you, no matter the state you’re in, from the Divine that is You, through you and for you, no matter what.


That is Love in action, and it is the force that will unify all the parts of yourself and bring you into alignment with Who You Really Are, day after day. We honor your work and your goodness, and we ask you to be gentle with yourself as we are gentle with you, as a mother would be gentle with her child, knowing that growth is long and hard work and all is indeed well.


Blessings, and Amen.





  • Maida says:

    Thea, from my heart, I thank you and The Guides I have been feeling this exact way after returning last week from a week in Sedona. It was a wonderful group and we all were doing Heart meditations. I got back home and I haven’t been able to wrap my head around work, home stuff like cooking etc. I spoke qith a friend who explained that we were in expansion and now contracting and pushing ourselves back into the 3D body. The Guides are right, we need to give love. Sometimes it seems hard but I completely understand the Mother Love they speak of. Thank you, thank you. Many Blessings. 🙏

  • Bonnie says:

    Wow so beautiful Thea, Thank you so much for asking such an important question. I will print this out to remind myself during those difficult, confusing times.

  • shelley vermilya says:

    Oh! This is stunning. I’ve been “back there again” and couldn’t figure out why or how to get out. Good to know this is more than mop heads! Thank you!

  • Debasmita says:

    Thea, I too had some similar kind of experiences after the workshop, the contrast of feelings and sensitivity to external noises was high. So, I felt happy to know that I wasn’t the only one feeling such.😁I loved the mother-child example your guides shared. When love becomes You, the KNOWING comes back and then you say Oh!’I am free’. I am free to recieve love and radiate love. Thank you for sharing this writing through the tag, I’ll keep coming back. And I love you.💕😘

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