This week we look at the all-important topic of relationship.
• What is the role of relationships on our spiritual journey?
• How can we understand our past and present relationships from a higher perspective?
• What about relationships that are difficult, or full of conflict or challenge?
• How can we maintain the healthiest possible connections with others, and find love?
By shifting to a soul perspective, the Guides tell us, we can find a healthy, realistic, and fulfilling approach to all our relationships, and more easily find the sense of love and connection we all crave.
I. Exercise #1 Accepting the messiness of relationship
Think of an upset or conflict you have had with a loved one, now or in the past.
List the difficult feelings it brings up.
I am angry because…
I am sad that…
I am hurt because…
I feel guilty/ashamed about…
I wish that…
Part 2: Now hold that piece of paper in your hand, letting it represent the entirety of that conflict, with all its complications, hurts, confusion, or uncomfortable feelings, both yours and the other person’s. The goal here is not to “fix” the problem, but just to accept it as part of your human experience. Bless the piece of paper, and everything it represents. Send it love.
Repeat the following, silently or aloud:
I offer myself love.
I free myself of shame and guilt.
I accept my human imperfection.
I accept your human imperfection.
I forgive myself.
I forgive you.
I offer you love as a fellow soul.
I send you light.
Now, rip up the paper, and as you do, ask to let go of any judgment, guilt, or blame you may be holding onto. Afterward, wash your hands, and take a mindful walk outside, releasing any last bits of judgment, blessing yourself and the other person, and giving thanks.
From the Guides:
Others are not here to make us “happy.” Nor are they here to make us feel loved. This is countercultural, in a sense, but it is True. They are here to Be with us, to learn with us and from us, to love us but not to be the source of Love. The Source of Love is the Divine, which is accessed through the Self.
As relates to adult relationships, to consensual bonds, the rules are clear from a soul perspective. No one owes another anything. Let there be no sense of obligation. Not because you may not choose to make a commitment to another person. But because obligation tends to snuff the light out of Love.
The freedom to let others walk their paths and the freedom to walk one’s own is what the heart longs for. This does not mean separating from a person physically or even emotionally. It just means realigning one’s expectations or assumptions about the level of ownership or control one has over another, and turning the attention to God and the Self.
The Love that then rushes in to fill that empty space, and the gratitude that emerges once we realize that another person does not “belong” to us but is nonetheless in our life as a Divine gift, is truly remarkable and worth all the effort and courage it takes to let go.
Relationship is not an exchange. It is not, you give me this, and I give you that. It is, this is Who I Am, and this is Who You Are, and we are free.
III. Exercise #2: Looking through the eyes of the soul
Part 1: Think of someone in your life with whom you have or have had a relationship.
Now imagine that you are given a pair of magical glasses that allows you to see them as a soul, and to understand your work together in this life.
See if you can complete the following statements, just letting the answers come to you intuitively. (It’s OK to use your logical mind here, too.)
This person taught me…
If it weren’t for this person, I wouldn’t…
Because of this person, I am…
I am grateful for…
• Share lessons in pairs or groups
• Collect some of the lessons you learned (use big paper/markers)
• Discuss in the large group
IV. Connectedness meditation
This is a three-part meditation/visualization focusing on our relationships with others.
Here is the meditation written out, if you prefer:
Think of a relationship that needs some healing, some boundaries, some energetic separation or space. A relationship that feels “messy” or entangled. Invite that person’s Higher Self to sit in front of you. Bow to them internally as a soul. Now visualize a figure eight of energy traveling between your heart centers. Use the color gold if you want to stay connected to that person, silver if you want to separate (releasing the person to their own path with love).
Think of all your loved ones, friends, co-workers, neighbors, everyone with whom you have contact. Imagine them in a big group before you. Now imagine that you are scanning the crowd and bowing to them and to their Higher Selves. As you do this, you honor them, honor the deeper significance of your connection, let them acknowledge you on a soul level, and acknowledge that you are One.
Now imagine that you are standing in a circle, and around you are those invisible Beings who are there to support you. Look around and see who’s there. Notice your Spirit Guides, angels, or animal guides. Perhaps there are beloveds who have died, or ancestors you haven’t met but who are watching over you. Perhaps there are beloved pets who have died, or other Beings of any kind there in your circle of support. Visualize the other people in this class there also, holding you in Love. Look around, bow to the others in the group, and take in their Love and support. Know they are there. Feel how loved and supported you are, how not alone you are, no matter what. Receive the Love of the Divine as channeled through all of these Beings who are there for you in spirit.
Next week: Finding Peace in a Troubled World